Reel Life
by PrincessAlica
Summary: Rhett and Scarlett go to the movies to watch Gone With the Wind.  What do they think of the movie of their life?  This is a one-shot satire, but it has been added to.


Reel Life

Scarlett followed Rhett, her ear bobs jangling cheerfully, as she tossed her head haughtily. "Aren't you excited, Rhett?" She cooed.

"Not exceptionally, no. I don't really care to see my mistakes played out on the big screen in all of its techni-color glory. I wouldn't think that you would either, considering how you hate to look back." He replied leading her to a seat about half way down the auditorium.

"Oh, Rhett darling, why don't we go sit over there," she motioned briefly to a few seats on the other side of the aisle.

"No thank you. Those seats are for children. I can't fit in those seats, and there is absolutely no leg room, besides, I'm not blind, I know that Ashley Wilkes is the only reason that you are trying to steer me in that direction." One eyebrow raised as he cast a sardonic glare in the direction of Ashley Wilkes. "And besides, if I know this theatre, that area is even more poorly maintained than the center section, and I have no desire to have sticky residue on the soles of my shoes. They are imported leather, you know."

"Oh Rhett, how you do run on. I only was wanting to sit over there to see Melanie's reaction to the film. You know that they did over dramatize things for the screen play, or so I have been told.

As he found a seat that he deemed suitable, he glanced over at Scarlett who was settling in with an extra large popcorn dripping with butter. "I doubt that you will have much chance to pay attention to anyone's reaction other than your own while you try to consume that massive amount of popcorn and Coca Cola. If you keep eating that, you will get as fat as those Cuban women, and I will have no choice but to divorce you. I warned you on our honeymoon."

"Oh, I know what you said Rhett, but I haven't heard any complaints lately. And Coca cola is medicinal."

"so they say, but I am sure that one day it will be linked to wide spread obesity as people begin to forgo water to drink soda instead, with all of that sugar and chemicals." He groused.

"Well I would imagine that someday people will say that cigar smoke is harmful too, but I don't see you quitting any time soon." Scarlett said defensively as she picked up a kernel of popcorn and delicately tossed it into her mouth.

"I always am amused by the ways in which you pretend to be a lady. And just so you know, my pet, you aren't fooling anyone." He added with a chuckle.

Rhett was shushed by the man sitting in front of them. "The movie is about to start, and if you don't mind I would like to be able to watch without listening to the two of your squabble all the way through it."

", I'm sorry if we are disturbing you, but if our presence is so offensive, why don't you move several rows down. Because it is our lives that you will be watching, and if we care to discuss it, then we will. And if you have a problem with it, we can deal with it after the screening." Rhett's swarthy skin stretched tightly over his scowling face. And the man immediately moved so he was as far as possible from them.

"I hope that they skip the previews. This is a long enough movie, without those added on. Besides I know that they aren't showing newsreels any longer, at least with this movie. Thank goodness for that, I always found the news dreadfully boring." She said, smoothing her hair away from her face. "Rhett, please be a darling and wake me up if I fall asleep, I am dreadfully tired."

"Leave it to you to sleep through your own life." He chuckled.

"Oh, hush. It's starting!" She chirped as the lights dimmed and the music began. However her face was soon contorted into an expression of shock and disbelief. "Good grief. Did they never see Tara? There was nothing in the county nearly so nice! I'm almost afraid to see Twelve Oaks. If they've done this with to Tara, what have they done to the Wilkes' plantation?"

Rhett was silent as she kept a running commentary about the pictures that were flashing before them. "That is the wrong dress. I clearly told them that I wore the same dress on the evening that I talked to the twins as I wore to the barbeque. You remember it Rhett. It was the low cut one with the green floral print."

"Of course you remember what you wore, my kitten. You seem to remember things best by what you wore and what you ate." He grinned.

"Oh hush. Oh, I do so miss the twins. They were some of my very dearest friends growing up." She sniffled as Rhett's arm snaked around her.

"Here. Never in all the time that I have known you, have I seen you have a handkerchief when you needed it."

She took the offered handkerchief and wiped her eyes and blew her nose and then handed the soggy fabric back to him.

He grimaced as he took the handkerchief back and placed it on the seat opposite from her. "I do think that Vivien Leigh was an excellent choice to play you, even if she is far too pretty."

"Oh, Rhett Butler, if I wasn't a lady, just what wouldn't I say." She seethed as the her eyes darkened to near black.

"You aren't a lady, so you might as well say whatever it was that occurred to you." He prodded.

But she seemed to have changed tactics, "I am very pretty. You told me that I was beautiful." She whined.

"I might have said once that you looked beautiful, but I think that it was more along the lines of you looked good enough to eat. Of course that makes me sound like the big bad wolf. And if I did it is because I love you, I love much more than just your face. But if you'll remember the opening line. "Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful." Something about an interesting face, pointed of chin, square of jaw." He said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, just be quiet!" She turned away from him, shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth. "Oh look Rhett!" she chirped, bits of partially chewed popcorn flying out her mouth, "there's mammy and look there is pa! Oh how I miss them!"

Scarlett clasped Rhett's hand as the image of her standing on the hill with her pa as the sun set overlooking Tara shimmered in front of her. Then the scene changed to her bedroom with Mammy scolding her about her choice of dress. "I only chose that dress because my favorite one had a stain on it, and I was worried that someone might notice and point it out. And how embarrassing would that be? Well actually I was worried that Melanie would be catty enough to comment on it."

"Nothing could have been farther from the truth," he inserted.

She slapped his hand lightly as he pretended to creep towards her popcorn. "Well don't you think that I know that now. But I didn't know Melanie very well at all then."

"And yet you chose to marry her brother, which I doubt that you knew any better than you knew her, possibly even less, just because he asked?" Rhett smirked.

"I married Charlie to make Ashley jealous."

"As I well know already. But I think that you thought Melanie might be catty enough to say something because you might have been catty enough to say something. Or should I saw would have been catty enough to say something, yet in a way that only the females would see the claws."

"You're such a varmint sometimes. I don't know why I put up with you." She huffed. But the changing scenes caught her attention. She attempted to take a drink. The mouthful of coca cola spewed forth, spraying the empty chair in front of them. "Good God, Rhett! Look at Twelve Oaks! At least I assume that it must be Twelve Oaks. She snorted as the images continued. "I don't think that they did their research very well. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I would have loved to have dreamed of being mistress of that palace." She popped another piece of popcorn in her mouth. "Good grief! Really? That's ridiculous! Two staircases! Why if the whole South had been wealthy enough that all of our homes looked like that we would have won the war."

"Yes, well we know that didn't happen."

" Oh, Rhett. They did a terrible job on casting you. Your ears don't stick out like that, and I think you are more handsome than he is. But he certainly has perfected that leer that you wore that day."

"Oh, I think he is quite handsome. And besides, I can't exactly play myself. And who else would they have chosen? Groucho Marx?" He chuckled as he sneaked a handful of popcorn from her. "And thank you, my pet." He brushed a bit of popcorn from his sleeve. "And I must say Vivien's waist is not nearly as small as yours was then, nor are her eyes quite the right shade of green. It's a good thing for modern women that they aren't expected to be that tiny."

"Excuse me, Rhett Butler. Are you implying that my waist has grown?" She fumed.

"It has grown, but it is still so tiny that no one would ever know that you have born three children."

"I don't think that they did a very good job with casting Ashley. Is Leslie Howard his name? I can't see how someone who looks like that would get me to have a crush on his for a decade and more." Scarlett huffed. "I remember when he rode up to Tara when he returned from his grand tour, how the sun was shining and causing his hair to become a halo around him. And he was strong and well muscled, well, I don't think he is so wonderful now, but he was pretty spectacular in the day."

"Well it seems that someone else agrees with you." He pointed towards where Ashley was frowning at the screen. "But obviously this man will work fine for Ashley after the war. "

"But Ashley was like a golden Adonis." Scarlett declared loudly enough to provoke some of those around her to turn and glare.

"I'm surprised at you. I wouldn't think that you would have paid enough attention to know who Adonis was."

She blushed furiously. "Well I did pay attention in school sometimes."

"Ah," he laughed. "You paid attention when there was mention of a beautiful man to perk your ears up."

As the crowd chuckled as the vase shattered against the fireplace and Rhett rose from the sofa, the real Rhett pulled a cigar case from his pocket. As Scarlett began to puff herself up in indignation, he added. "Don't get your feathers all ruffled. It's the truth, and you well know it." He pulled a cigar from the case and placed the case back in his pocket. "It's one of the things that make me love you. I love that streak in you. You my darling are a hedonist. You have such a passion for living."

Scarlett glared at him because his on screen counterpart happened to be saying the very same thing. But she smiled again as the reel Scarlett stormed away from Rhett. " I wish that I had slapped you then. You deserved it." They watched for a bit in silence as the news of the war caused an uproar, and Scarlett accepted Charles's proposal as she watched Melanie kissing Ashley. She pointedly ignored her husband's glances. She only occasionally glared at him as he chuckled about her attitude during mourning and the way that her feet were trying to dance at the bazaar.

"They skipped over a year, without so much as a by your leave. It is all going so fast that my head is spinning. Do you think Wade will be offended that they didn't even include him? It is quite the oversight. And Charlie had been dead for over a year before that bazaar. Of course I was in mourning, and I shouldn't have gone, but they needed me. The McClure girls were supposed to run the booth, but their brother had been injured in a battle. And really nothing in this seems to be going quite right." She turned to glare at him. "And it is making me look terrible!"

He smiled indulgently at her and silently watched the movie as she continued to rant. "Of course they did! Whoever wrote the screen play must be in love with you darling. They skipped over the entire scene where you ask me to be your mistress. Now it will look like I just came up with the idea to sell my body to you on my own."

"Ahh, but don't you remember how your pulse was racing as I kissed your wrist." He took her hand in his and began repeating his past actions. Her breath caught in her throat. "Do you rememberyou're your response to my query was that you didn't want a passel of brats." He leaned over and began sucking on her earlobe, gently pulling on it with his teeth, however so discreetly done that he only appeared to be whispering to his wife. She jumped when his tongue flicked into her ear, causing the large Coke she had been drinking to be upset into his lap. He jumped and pulled out another handkerchief and began trying to clean up the damage.

"I guess that you needed a little cooling off, darling." She purred.

"You know, they did give you a script, and ask you to approve all changes." Rhett grinned wolfishly. "You can't blame them if you didn't take the time to do so."

"Well I didn't expect for them to so defame my character. It's ridiculous really! I am insulted and offended. And I don't see how things are going to get any better.

And indeed she was not pleased with it anymore than she had been. The scenes flashed as the siege of Atlanta was ending and Melanie was giving birth to Beau; Scarlett's eyes misted. "I was so scared, Rhett. I'd never had to face anything like that, even working in the hospital. I was so glad to see you, because I knew that you would keep me safe."

"Shh, it is all over, darling." he offered soothingly.

"And Rhett people are laughing at the things I was doing. Don't they understand how terrified I was. I was still just a girl then, and they think that it is funny. I know sometimes they laugh at that fool Prissy, but she was scared too. This isn't supposed to be a comedy. We were all so close to death. There was fire in the sky, and explosions shaking the ground. I was only nineteen." She shuddered even with his arm draped around her. "Death was knocking at the door."

"And I've never forgiven myself for not taking the time to bring you home to Tara. You needed me then, like you never had needed me before, and I let you down."

"I think the world must be ending. You just admitted that you aren't perfect." Scarlett swiped at the tears that were streaming down her face, in a combination of grief at relieving such a terrible time in her life and anger at those who were amused by the horrors that she had lived through. She watched with detached curiosity as the movie depicted the kiss Rhett had given her before leaving her at Rough and Ready. "And as I recall I was lost in your kiss until Wade called for me, but since he doesn't exist in the movie they had to make me more of a witch."

There was no laughter when the on-screen Scarlett drove through a sea of dead bodies or as she returned home to Tara to find the house standing, but her mother dead and her father gone mad. No one laughed as she dug with her bare hands in the garden to find something for the starving inhabitants to eat. But she was relieved to hear a cheer and applause go up when she stood on the hill and declared that she would never be hungry again.

As the lights came on, Rhett stared in amazement at the empty popcorn bucket in his wife's lap. "Rhett could you be a darling and get me some more popcorn. I seem to have run out."

"I'd say. Where do you put it all?" He asked.

"Remembering how hungry we were, I couldn't help it Rhett. It was a terrible time." She replied.

And he couldn't help but agree if for no other reason than to assuage his own guilt for not being there for her. So he headed for the concessions as she headed for the restroom to powder her nose. By the time that the intermission was over, Scarlett was smiling again, with one hand in the large bucket of popcorn, while a hotdog resided in the other. A fresh coke sat in the cup holder, reasonably placed on the side away from her husband. "Thank you, Rhett. You can be so sweet at times."

Scarlett's hand was continually dipping into the bucket as the ravages of the aftermath of the war played out before her. Rhett pulled her close and kissed her hair when the Yankee deserter came in and threatened Scarlett. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there," he breathed. "You shouldn't have had to deal with everything on your own."

She cringed as the scene began with her desperation for Ashley to help solve her problems. She felt Rhett tense beside her.

"I can't see that this scene was so innocent, my pet," he glowered. "You have always professed that you and he did nothing wrong." He cast a glance across the theater where is appeared that Ashley was trying to explain himself to a serene Mrs. Wilkes.

"I wasn't married at the time. I was never unfaithful to you, or any of my husbands, not that there was too much time to be unfaithful to Frank or especially Charlie. And I try to block this from my memory. This is one of those things that I try not to think of. And Ashley was no help at all. How did I not hear what he was saying... that he loved my courage. That certainly isn't what a man in love would say."

"Yes, well. You shall be seeing me soon, in all of my glory. I don't always say the right things either."

They watched in silence as Gerald O'Hara died jumping a fence. "Oh great, this keeps Suellen from looking like the traitorous wench that she was. And besides Pa died in June, after I was married to Frank and pregnant with Ella. And it was all because Suellen tried to get him to sign the Ironclad oath. Nothing was as simple as that. And even according to their dates, mother had been dead a year, why does her marker look like it is 50 years old?"

He nodded and patted her hand gently with his large one. "I know."

He snorted as he watched Mammy's expression as Scarlett pulled the drapes. "Did it really happen like that? I know that you told me at the jail when you were finally honest with me that you made the dress from your mother's curtains, but to see it is another thing entirely." He leered at Vivien on the screen. "You were quite fetching, and if only you'd worn gloves I might have been duped entirely."

"Yes, well if I had worn gloves I might have only had two husbands instead of three." She smiled coquettishly at him.

"But I should have known as soon as I saw you. You were so much thinner than your on screen character. Your ribcage was sticking out and your cheeks were sunken in. You looked like you were starving, but obviously that is because you were. I should have done whatever it took to help you, even if you did infuriate me by lying." He watched as she fought against him, "but you fainted here. I tried to tell you that I would find a way to help you, but you fainted and I never had a chance to tell you."

"Great balls of fire, Rhett! You wait until now to tell me that! Oh, I could kill you sometimes. You infuriate me."

The time seemed to pass quickly, with no mention of Ella until Rhett reappeared and tried to save the men from being ambushed. "They completely left out some of the best moments we had together. We were such good friends when you would ride to the mill with me. Remember Rhett? We had that discussion on what our grandchildren would think of us?"

He nodded and smiled. "I must have been more astute than even I realized."

Scarlett cringed as Rhett appeared with Ashley in tow, pretending that he was drunk as opposed to letting the Yankees know that he had been shot. "But this makes it seem like I didn't care about Frank. I didn't love him, I 'm not going to sit here and lie about that, but he saved Tara and my family. I was very grateful to him. I wasn't as good of a wife as I should have been, but you wouldn't answer my question when I asked where Frank was. You made me wait until after Ashley had been tended to."

"I know that you cared. You are very right, this does seem to vilianize you." He agreed.

"Well didn't you read it? You could have made them change things." Scarlett argued.

"Well yes, but you do so hate when I mess around in your affairs." He grinned, and hushed her as the scene began in which he would propose. "I remember this being a much more sensual scene. I believe I kissed you until you were dazed. I took great liberties, I'm sure that they didn't include where I began kissing you lower and lower until I was kissing your breast through the fabric of your mourning gown. I would never have gotten away with it if you hadn't already been intoxicated."

"I wasn't intoxicated. I just didn't know how to deal with my grief and the guilt." Scarlett defended.

"And if you weren't intoxicated, then why did you let me kiss you places so indecent?" He quizzed with a crooked smile.

She stuttered for a moment before turning to him and whispering in a menacing voice, "if you know what is good for you, you will hush up or I will give you another cooling off."

A deep laugh rumbled in his chest. "All right. I will behave. Gentleman's honor."

"O fiddle dee dee. A great lot of good that will do me. You sir are no gentleman."

He snickered at her, "as you well have already pointed out this evening."

The events of their married life began to roll across the screen. She smiled as she remembered their honeymoon in New Orleans and all of the wonderful times associated with it. "Of course they leave out when you told me to rename with the store caveat emp...emptorium... or as Ashley had to tell me... buyer beware. Another instance of your sins being glossed over!"

"It was funny." He defended.

"I would have been the laughingstock of Atlanta. And its not as if those old peahens need more ammunition." She said quietly hoping to avoid the peahens over hearing her.

They watched as Bonnie was born and Rhett cooed and made a fuss over the tiny baby. She swiped at a tear that escaped as she remembered Bonnie. "I'm sorry that I kicked you out. That was a mistake."

"You don't mind my coarsening influence?" He said as he dropped a slow hot kiss at her collar bone.

"Not now, Rhett," she said as she batted him away. "I want to see this movie. We can worry about such things later."

"I wish that I didn't have to watch the next scene. Even knowing that it was innocent, I still want to strangle Ashley. I doubt that he was completely innocent."

And as the scene came for Ashley's birthday party, Rhett smirked as the man in question squirmed in his seat. "He doesn't look like a man at all in this scene. What kind of man hides behind his wife's skirts?"

But the scene slowly dissolved into the night after the party, and Rhett was slowly massaging Scarlett's hand was small tight circles. "They really don't do this scene justice. They omitted all of the good stuff. It looks as though I raped you, when even though parts are hazy, I know you were a willing participant." He smiled triumphantly as Scarlett's reel life counterpart sang to herself the next morning. "I rest my case. That was not rape."

But her stomach clenched painfully as she watched herself fall down the stairs. She could feel the stabbing pain as each stair tread made contact with her body, and she recalled the dull ache that had lingered for what seemed like forever. She couldn't stand to think of the baby that had been lost , and she cringed at the horrible things that they had said to each other. She reached out for Rhett's hand and held on tightly as he broke down on the screen. "I didn't know you cared so much.' She whispered, brushing his face lovingly with her hand. "You really did care."

"Of course I cared." He said softly. "I didn't know that you wanted me. If only I had known." He added wistfully.

But the rest of the movie played on Scarlett's grip on his hand grew tighter and tighter. Occasionally she would flinch as a man several rows in front of her would laugh. Finally after he laughed as Rhett left her, she couldn't resist any longer. She jumped out of her seat and punched the man in the jaw. "How dare you laugh at one of the most painful moments in my life. Perhaps you don't understand what an a** my husband can be, but let me assure you that this movie is terribly skewed to make him look better and to make me look as bad as possible."

She turned and stormed out, grabbing Rhett's hand and pulling him along. Come on Rhett. We need to find Uncle Henry. I am suing them for defamation of character and libel and slander, and anything else I can think of. And I don't care to see that movie even again, as long as I live."

"Well, at least everything seemed to fly by." Rhett teased.

"Oh, would you be quiet! They made it look like everything from the miscarriage to the day you left happened in a few days, instead of the nearly three years that it spanned. I knew that they were going to make it seem that Melanie died, and that you were leaving because of her death and because you were sure that because of it I would be chasing Ashley, but you had already decided to leave."

"And it was a miracle that Melanie didn't die. We all thought that she would." There was a flash of remorse and grief as he watched her face. "And I had to get away from Atlanta. I missed Bonnie too much. I was lost in my grief. But I came back. I always come back." He said squeezing Scarlett to his side.

She smiled at him for a moment. "Yes you did. But it took you long enough."

"I was gone a month before I realized what a mistake I had made."

"Oh!" She squealed, completely distracted from the conversation. "There is Uncle Henry. Uncle Henry, Uncle Henry, I need to talk to you! I want to sue someone for that... that...that atrocity!"


End file.
